


please don't go

by bioticnerfherder



Series: Breezeblocks: a modern AU [3]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Car Accidents, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 00:29:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9691553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bioticnerfherder/pseuds/bioticnerfherder
Summary: Kylo gets the call around 3am."You're listed as the emergency contact for Armitage Hux?"





	

**Author's Note:**

> i had an idea and i needed to write a one-shot ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> i listened to [breezeblocks - alt-j](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVeMiVU77wo) a lot while writing this so i decided to name the fic after some of the lyrics.

Kylo gets the call around 3am.

He very nearly ignores his phone out of spite, almost entirely sure who is on the other end of the line. He only made it to bed barely an hour ago and only because he was exhausted from his ill-advised midnight workout and all his shouting. His knuckles are still sore from having abused them on the punching bag in their basement 'gym' a few hours ago, and his first instinct when his phones buzzes on the nightstand is to chuck it halfway across the room.

The third time it starts to vibrate he groans, gets up, and gropes around in the dark for the offending object.

(Like always, he finds himself unable to _not_ answer Hux's call.)

Only it isn't Hux on the phone.

"Hello, is this Kylo Ren?"

Kylo clears his throat and swallows the sleep-tasting saliva in his mouth. "Speaking."

"Apologies for the late hour, Mr. Ren," the woman's voice sounds tired yet patient, well-practiced. The kind of voice ready to deliver bad news. Kylo stands up straighter when he realises this. "According to his records, you're listed as the emergency contact for one Armitage Hux?"

The dark shapes of their bedroom furniture blur as Kylo prepares to digest whatever she says next. "That's correct."

"There's been an accident. Mr. Hux was brought into our care about two hours ago, here at Alderaan Memorial."

Two hours? What was Kylo doing two hours ago? He tries to remember; he was definitely back from downstairs, and probably yelling at the framed picture of them in the living room. Meanwhile, Hux was apparently in an accident - how bad, he's not sure yet.

"What happened?"

"Vehicular incident, multiple cars involved."

"How bad?"

"We think it best you make your way down to us as soon as possible."

Only then did Kylo realise he'd been standing still as a statue, phone in a vice grip by his ear, since answering the call.

"Head straight for the emergency room when you arrive, sir."

He doesn't say anything as he lunges for a jacket, for his keys, for his wallet, and hangs up without another word. He shouldn't drive, not in the state of mind he's in, but damn it all Hux is in the emergency room, _Hux needs him_ , he might not know the details but he won't let Hux die with their argument being his last memory of him. It occurs to him, as he rushes down the stairs of their apartment building, that the fact they waited two hours to call him could either be a blessing or a curse: it either meant that Hux's condition had changed and they were optimistic, or that it had taken a turn for the worse.

Kylo has never been to a church or temple of any kind, but he prays to whoever will listen that it isn't the latter.

Alderaan Memorial Hospital is further away than Hux's workplace, First Order Hospital, but if Kylo knew Hux (and he did) the damn man went driving after walking out on their fight. Kylo arrives there in record time, thanking whatever higher power that he wasn't pulled over for going twice the speed limit almost the entire way, but right now he can't bring himself to care - the woman on the phone was frustratingly sparse with information and he needs to know what happened as soon as humanly possible. Yesterday, probably, would be best. That way he could have prevented this entire thing from happening.

He parks like an asshole, _just_ too far over the line that the spot next to him is rendered unavailable ( _Hux would scoff at that,_ he thinks, _and probably tell me to re-do it_ ), and sprints for the ER entrance. There are a few people milling about in a waiting room, as well as a desk that he assumes is a nurse station or reception for the ER. The two people behind the desk, both clad in short white coats over their plain clothes, are probably receptionists or physician's assistants.

Kylo wonders for a second if the woman is the one he spoke to on the phone.

"I'm here for Armitage Hux," he yells breathlessly, barely through the door and a still few meters away from the desk. The pair looks up at him in surprise, as well as a few random people seated at various benches, so for good measure he stalks the rest of the way to the desk before clarifying. "I was called because I'm the emergency contact for Armitage Hux. Is he here?"

A look of recognition flits through the woman's eyes briefly. "May I see some ID?" (Definitely the woman he spoke to on the phone.)

She takes out a file while he fumbles around for his driver's license, which he throws onto the desk for her to inspect.

"Sorry," he says. He didn't mean to be rude, but he also didn't realise his fingers were shaking as much as they are.

The woman hums in acknowledgement and looks over his license, comparing the information to something on the paper in front of her. Her coworker is distracted with another person who has entered the waiting room, and Kylo stares intently at the woman (whose name tag identifies her as A. Celchu) until she hands back his ID.

"What happened?"

"I'm sorry, but I need to get this out of the way first. Does Mr. Hux have insurance? We pulled his emergency contact information from his iPhone but his virtual medical ID didn't have any insurance information. We will continue to treat him but need insurance, if he has it."

Kylo all but snarled. "He's a surgeon at First Order, he has their staff health insurance."

"Ah," Celchu nods and notes something down. "Thank you."

"What _happened_?" Kylo repeats himself, hopefully with more force.

"As I described on the phone, Mr. Ren, there was a car accident. Mr- er, I mean _Dr_. Hux was not at fault but we believe he was distracted as his vehicle could have avoided the collision - or, at least, could have avoided serious damage and injury had he been paying attention."

"What," Kylo grit his teeth, "are you insinuating?"

"Just reporting the doctors' initial judgements," Celchu shrugs. "They think he may have been texting while driving."

That... did not sound at all like something Hux would do.

"How bad is it?"

"They should be just about finishing in the OR. He'll be transferred to the ICU for the night and to a private room depending on his state later today. If you'll have a seat, I can inform the doctors you are here and one should be out soon with more information once they are ready."

Nodding once, Kylo (reluctantly) makes his way to one of the plastic-covered seats in the draining white fluorescent lights of the room. He's never been a patient man - he watches Celchu disappear and reappear behind a pair of double doors, he blatantly stares at some of the other tired-looking people in the waiting room (though he supposes he probably looks even worse than they do), he bounces his knee up-and-down. He waits for what feels like forever, watches two doctors enter from the double doors and return behind them with a regular person each, leaving him to stew in his own lonely thoughts.

It's his fault. Of that he's sure. If he hadn't been such an ass and said those things, Hux wouldn't have walked out and wouldn't have gotten into this mess. What if Hux never recovered? Or worse, what if he did and never forgave Kylo for putting him through this? What if he left Kylo?

His self-deprecating thoughts are interrupted when finally, _finally_ someone approaches him. "Kylo Ren?"

"Yes," he stands up so fast his vision swims for a second. "That's me."

"Dr. Verlaine," she shakes his hand briefly before looking down at the clipboard in her hands. "Thank you for coming in. Dr. Hux was in bad shape when he was brought to us but we did all we could and it looks like he will be fine. He was luckier than some of the other drivers."

Kylo exhales shakily. _Hux will be fine_. "What happened?"

"Well," she reads something else on the clipboard before looking back up at Kylo, "EMTs spoke to a few eyewitnesses and traffic police are pulling the footage from the red-light cameras, but essentially he rear-ended a car, that had already collided with another vehicle running the red-light. They were on the eastern parkway, too, so all vehicles were driving well over inner city speed limits. Fortunately, because Dr. Hux was not in a full-on collision he sustained minor injuries, but that being said we believe he was not wearing his seatbelt - he hit his head badly on the windshield and may have developed a concussion. We can't be sure until he wakes up, however."

Kylo closes his eyes and sighs, tuning out the rest of the doctor's description of Hux's injuries. Hux had a nasty habit of forgetting his seatbelt simply because the sensor on his car was broken and never beeped at him. Kylo constantly offered to fix it for him, or at least take it to a mechanic, but Hux insisted he'd do it himself; he just never found the time to after work.

"Can I see him?" He interrupts the doctor after another minute.

The doctor nods. If she's annoyed with being interrupted, she doesn't show it. "Yes, but he's under heavy sedation and painkillers right now. He at least will not have to be in the ICU, and depending on his condition he will probably be able to go home tomorrow." She gestures to the door behind her. "If you'll follow me, I can take you to his room. I do have a few questions I would like to ask, however."

"What sort of questions?"

As they start walking, she pulls out a pen and starts to write something on her clipboard. "We're trying to piece together whatever information we can about Dr. Hux to improve our treatment, as well as aid the report we will have to file with the police. Knowing a few personal things will also help us gauge how bad the blow to his head was when he wakes up."

Kylo clears his throat and nods. "Anything that will help him."

"What is the nature of your relationship with Dr. Hux?"

"He's my fiancé."

Dr. Verlaine's eyebrows knit together.

"Is there something wrong with that, doctor?"

"No, I'm sorry, it's just that Dr. Hux was not wearing a ring when he was brought to us." She writes something down on the stupid little clipboard again.

Kylo flashes his left hand at her. "We don't wear engagement rings. It was a mutual decision. He would have to take it on and off every time he went into the OR, anyway."

He doesn't mention that they have an appointment to get their wedding bands tattooed on in a few weeks. He also doesn't mention the fact that the wedding is very much what caused the argument that put them in this situation.

"Ah, thank you for clarifying. How long have you known Dr. Hux?"

"About ten years. We've been engaged for a year and before that together for five years."

Verlaine whistles. "Dating while he was in his residency must have been difficult."

Kylo barely restrains the sigh - everyone always says the same thing. "We made it work."

She smiles at him. "I can see that. I am glad some of us," she gestures at herself, "made it through medical school and residency with a happy relationship."

Verlaine is obviously baiting him, waiting to see if he will correct her "happy relationship" comment. He won't - they were happy, _are_ happy, they just... argue a lot. Some arguments are worse than others, obviously. Instead of taking the bait, Kylo simply offers her a stiff smile.

The doctor continues to ask him questions (what is FO like, does Hux enjoy his job, does Hux normally not wear his seatbelt, does Hux often text and drive) until she stops walking outside an inpatient room. Verlaine gestures at the viewing window for Kylo to look and his stomach drops.

Hux looks so _small_ lying there among the sterile white hospital sheets, propped up by the raised head of the bed and some pillows, an IV inserted into his left hand and a breathing tube down his throat. His face, forehead covered by sterile white gauze, is pale with some swollen splotches of colour - bluish purple around the bridge of his nose, a patches of red along his cheeks. His right arm and hand are littered with bruises and a few cuts, all cleaned and mercifully not too deep-looking. The rest of his body is covered by a thin hospital gown and bedsheets so that Kylo can't see anything else.

"Why the breathing tube?"

"A precaution," Verlaine tells him without taking her eyes off Hux. "He's under pretty strong painkillers and sedatives, and we were unsure of the time of his last meal - intubating him helps keep the oesophagus closed to prevent stomach acid rising and entering the lungs."

Kylo imagines he can feel his own stomach acid crawling up towards his mouth. He swallows hard for good measure. "How long will he need to be ventilated?"

"Not for much longer." She glances at her watch before opening the door to Hux's room and beckoning Kylo inside. "If you'd like to wait here until he's awake, feel free. The armchairs are actually quite comfortable - I've napped in them before myself."

Kylo simply nods and enters the room, wandering to Hux's bedside immediately. His gaze hasn't left Hux's face once.

Verlaine does not follow him immediately, and when she does appear next to Kylo she's holding something out. "The paramedics recovered his phone from the car for his medical ID, if you wanted it." He takes the phone from her with a terse 'thank you', gaze still on Hux. "Ring the nurse's bell if anything changes."

And finally, blissfully, he is left alone with Hux.

He spends a few minutes staring at the bruised, tender face of his partner, feeling hollow as he does, before curiosity gets the better of him and he shifts his gaze to Hux's phone. The photo of them on Hux's locksreen is covered by texts and missed calls from Mitaka, Thanisson, and even Phasma, confusing him - Hux's next shift at FO was tomorrow, wasn't it? Kylo thumbs in Hux's passcode and the screen immediately opens to Messages, where Hux was composing a text.

_'Kylo, you're probably asleep now. FO has called me in to urgently cover a shift so I am rushing there. It's a 12 hour shift and I'm not sure when next I'll be able to call or text you, and I don't want you to think I'm ignoring you for the entire day. I'm sorry for walking out, I'm sorry for what I said, and above all I'm sorry for -'_

The draft text ends there.

Sighing, Kylo surrenders and slumps into the armchair by the window. He sets Hux’s phone on the nightstand nestled next to him, sending his mind back to a few hours ago. It was the same argument - they would yell, leave, and come back to the same thing every time: Kylo’s family.

This time, they were discussing wedding plans.

“I know you haven’t spoken to them in years, Kylo,” Hux said. “But this is your wedding. _Our_ wedding. You don’t even want to tell them you’re getting married? Let alone invite them?”

“It’s been years, Hux,” Kylo bit back. “I don’t want them there. Besides, they won’t be interested.”

“They’re your _family_ , Kylo! Of course they’ll be interested!”

Kylo stalked towards their kitchen, grabbed a beer and slammed the fridge door. “No, they won’t. They don’t care.”

“They _do!_ ” Hux yelled before he followed him to the kitchen, staring at Kylo from across the kitchen island. “They _do_ care!”

“And how do you know that?” Kylo snapped. He took a long drink from his beer, but Hux was suspiciously silent. It clicked in Kylo’s mind suddenly and he set the glass bottle down hard. “You’ve been in contact with them,” he snarled, “haven’t you? Did you call Leia? Han?!”

Hux shook his head. “No, of course not. I wouldn’t trespass like that. It’s just…” He hesistated.

“Just spit it out, Hux.”

“Okay,” Hux sighed. “But I didn’t tell you because I knew you wouldn’t be happy. He doesn’t know anything about us, so I thought it would be okay to just stay silent.” Hux reached over the island and took a sip of Kylo’s beer. “Han came into First Order a few weeks ago. Appendicitis, but the junior surgeon assigned to his case was nervous about complications due to his age. She asked me to scrub in, so… I did.”

“And?”

“And before the surgery I asked him the standard paperwork questions - you know, the ‘are you prepared in case something goes wrong in the OR’ - and I guess he was either loopy on painkillers or he misunderstood me, because he started detailing his will. Everything is going to you, Kylo. Your mother’s will is much the same. If Han-Solo-on-painkiller’s word is to be believed.”

Kylo remained quiet for a moment. The first words he could find were “is Han okay?”

Hux scoffed. “Of course he’s fine, there were no complications. This is _my_ OR we’re talking about.”

Hux’s snark sent Kylo straight back into ‘not caring’ mode. “Right. So if he’s not dying then there’s even less reason to invite him to the wedding. It’s off the table.”

“Kylo! These are your _parents_! We don’t even have to invite your uncles or your cousin. We don’t even have to invite them at all, just a note telling them you’re _getting married_!”

“It’s off the table, Hux. Enough.”

“I just don’t understand why you have the option of having your family _at your wedding_ and won’t even entertain the thought!”

Kylo’s eyes darkened and his next words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. “Just because your family is dead doesn’t mean you can replace them with mine.”

Hux didn’t say anything, his face simply went blank; devoid of all emotion, like it did when he was in surgery. Hux stared at Kylo for a long moment. He then simply turned, grabbed his jacket and keys, and left the apartment. It took all of Kylo’s strength to not tear apart all their furniture right then and there, instead having enough patience to head to their basement and beat the shit out of a punching bag.

In the hospital, in the armchair by Hux's bedside that is slightly too small for Kylo's frame, Kylo puts his head in his hands. Kylo would let Hux invite  _anyone_ in the world to their wedding if it meant he could see Hux's eyes again, hear his voice and his damn accent.

 _Breathe_ , he tells himself,  _Hux is going to be fine. Hux is going to be fine, and you're going to get married._

Kylo repeats this to himself, like a mantra, until he falls asleep. He's not sure how long he's slept for but when he wakes up, daylight fights with the thick curtains over the windows and - oh. Hux's breathing tube has been removed, but he's still asleep. Kylo slept much deeper than he thought.

He checks the time on Hux's phone, which is still clutched in his hands, and it's just past noon. Phasma called another five times. Kylo swears under his breath and swipes the screen to call her back. He stands, not wanting to wake Hux up, but pauses to plant a soft kiss on the man's bandaged forehead before exiting the room.

"Hux," Phasma answers after a few rings, "where the  _fuck_ have you been? You've had me worried!"

"It's me, Phasma," Kylo says in what he hopes is an apologetic tone. "And I don't have good news."

On the other end of the line, Phasma pauses. "Shit. Kylo, what's happened?"

Kylo turns to gaze at Hux through the viewing window of his room. "Car accident."

A string of curses fly out of the phone. "-ing Jesus Christ, shit, is he okay?!"

"He will be. He's unconscious right now. We're at Alderaan Memorial."

"Alderaan Mem- what was he doing out past city limits? I thought he was at home, that's why I had Nurse Thanisson call him in for shift last night!"

"We..." Kylo hesistates. "We had an argument. He walked out, went for a drive. He was on his way to First Order when he rear-ended another car."

Phasma swears again. "Jesus. Okay. Are they, are they taking good care of him?"

Kylo looks over his shoulder, inspects the nurse's station and the doctors milling about. "I think so? You would know better. You and Hux know hospitals like nobody else."

"I'll come over later, Kylo, I promise. I just got home from my shift, I'll have a shower and come over immediately."

"Thank you, Phasma," Kylo shifts his gaze back Hux, "I'd appre-"

He stops mid-sentence.

"Kylo? Are you still there?"

"He's awake, Phasma, I gotta go."

Kylo doesn't wait for a response, just hangs up and shoves Hux's phone into his pocket, running back into the room. Hux is blinking groggily, flexing his fingers slightly, and his mouth has twisted into a grimace of pain.

"Hux," Kylo croaks as he rushes to kneel by the bedside. He tentatively slides his fingers between Hux's palm and the bedsheet, not wanting to hurt his hand by holding it. "I'm here."

Hux blinks at him a few times, eyes seeming to take a few seconds to focus.

"K... Kylo?"

"Yes, I'm here, I'm here." Kylo blinks rapidly to chase away some tears that have dared to try and well up. He reaches over with his free hand and rings the nurse's bell. "Take your time, love, they said you were on really strong sedatives."

"Kylo," Hux repeats softly. His eyes seem to be smiling, giving his face an odd look - his mouth doesn't seem to be cooperating with him, halfway between a pained expression and a smile. The result is an almost funny neutral line, clashing strangely with Hux's emotional eyes. "You're here."

"Yes," Kylo can't help smiling at his fiancé.

"'m ss... sor-"

Kylo shakes his head to cut Hux off. "No, no it's okay, don't apologise." A nurse appears in the doorway, immediately making his way to Hux's vitals when he sees he's awake. "We'll talk later, okay?" Kylo reluctantly stands and retreats to the armchair to get out of the nurse's way, but he keeps his gaze locked with Hux's the entire time.

Later, when the doctors have checked Hux's condition, when Phasma has come and gone, and when Hux has slept some more, Kylo squeezes onto the narrow hospital bed to sit next to a fully-upright (thanks to the bed and some sturdy pillows) Hux while they eat dinner. Which, for bland hospital food, is not terrible - but that might be because they're both starving.

"I hope I didn't scare you too much," Hux says between spoons of chicken soup. Kylo is glad he laid thick paper napkins on Hux's lap because Hux's fingers are trembling so much only half of the contents of each spoonful actually make it to his mouth.

"I only thought my entire life was over," Kylo shrugs.

"As much as I appreciate the sentiment, Kylo, I'm serious. I'm sorry."

Kylo sets down his own sandwich and sighs. "Hux, you don't have to apologise for getting into an accident. If anything, it was my fau-"

"No," Hux interrupts rather forcefully. "No, it wasn't.  _I_ walked out."

"I said some things I shouldn't have."

"And I tried to force you into wanting things you don't want." Hux carefully picks up the entire styrofoam bowl of soup and sips a few times like it's a cup. He sets it down before speaking again. "Shall we say neither of us are at fault?"

"But -"

"No. Like you said, off the table." There's no malice in Hux's tone, none that Kylo can hear anyway. "And you know what? Screw it all. Let's just spend the wedding fund on a honeymoon and go down to City Hall instead. You, me, one witness, and to make it legal - that's all we need, right?"

Kylo grins. "When?"

"As soon as possible."

"When you're discharged from here, then?"

Hux frowns. "God no, give me a week or two for these scars to heal a little. We still need good wedding photos."

Kylo chuckles quietly.  _His_ Hux is definitely fine. He doesn't know why he was so worried.

"I love you," Kylo says.

"I know."

**Author's Note:**

> i had intended this to be a quick one-shot but alas i've already got plans for some vaguely related one-shots in the same AU so the boys will be back... eventually... any and all complaints can be directed to my [tumblr](http://bioticnerfherder.tumblr.com/), feel free to yell at me because i don't know what i'm doing either
> 
> PSA: DON'T TEXT AND DRIVE, DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE, ALWAYS WEAR YOUR SEATBELT!!


End file.
